What's demoralizing to your mortality is the way you're feeling fine, standing there at the kitchen sink, say, when suddenly: ah-shoot! ah-shoot! ah-shoot! God bless you, it's flu season.
Within seconds you go from normal to achy, wondering if maybe this is all in your head. But no, your throat hurts, too. Your throat hurts like the chickens with their heads chopped off. Even worse, your throat hurts like it did back when you were ten years old and the pediatrician--whose name was Dr. Reynolds, you still recall, after all these years, whenever you use tin foil--told you to say Ah, then told your mother how a tonsillectomy is what you were due for and she agreed to this common surgery that was an altogether particularly bad idea, but who knew? Nobody, back then. So hell-o, Jell-o and ice cream and scream all you want, you'll never have another sore throat, guaranteed! Even though there are no guarantees in life, none whatsoever. So get over it and get well soon.
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